NEW YORK, NY – The recent price hike in EpiPens, up nearly 400% in price over the past 6 years, has angered many – with the exception of Big Pharma and the Illuminati.
“What Mylen Pharmaceuticals was able to do with the price of the EpiPen is amazing,” said Merck CEO Dr. Steve Vaers. “We applaud them in their efforts to maximize revenue and we are hoping to use the same technique with vaccines.”
Currently most vaccines are given fee of charge in the US (through either insurance or the free Vaccine for Children Program) and Canada, but all that may be about to change.
“We are currently working with our close business partners at the CDC and the the state and federal governments to make all vaccines $400 a pop,” explains Dr. Vaers. “This, along with our ongoing efforts to make all vaccines mandatory, will help us cover many of the costs associated with CEO bonuses and office upgrades.”
Big Pharma makes relatively little profit on vaccines, and would actually make more money treating vaccine preventable diseases. This is part of the reason for the proposed price hike.
“We would make so much more profit if children didn’t get vaccines,” said Vaers. “So instead of providing people with preventative measures for next to nothing, we will now be charging them hundreds of dollars.”
The proposed price hike is making its way through the bureaucratic process and Big Pharma is hoping to use its influence to get it pushed through congress in near record time.