AUSTIN, TX – Area man Travis Konecky was terminated from his summer job at Whole Foods after his boss, Chase Grapefruit, found out that Konecky not only has a BSc degree but was also planning to start graduate school in Biochemistry this fall.
“There is absolutely no room for someone like that, someone who likes science, here at Whole Foods” explained Grapefruit. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he was vaccinated and even ate the odd piece of gluten.”
Konecky said he doesn’t really believe in the Whole Foods “lifestyle”, but that he needed a summer job to save up for graduate school.
“It’s right around the corner and the hours are pretty good” said Konecky. “I really didn’t think the fact I am a bit of a science nerd would be grounds for termination.”
Some people have advised Konecky to sue, but he said he feels bad doing that since Whole Foods is just a small mom and pop operation. Konecky was then informed that Whole Foods Inc. made over $10 billion in 2014 and is now rethinking the idea of some legal action. Whole Foods has reportedly offered Konecky a lifetime supply of organic cherry tomatoes in exchange for dropping any lawsuit.
