PITTSBURGH, PA – Local anti-vaccer and basement tenant Max Alexander, 24, was annoyed when he woke up early this morning to scour the internet for new health articles in which to post anti-vaccine, anti-science comments. To his horror, someone had beaten him to the punch.
“Some guy named ‘AutismDad’ had already posted a bunch of anti-vaccine stuff on almost every major online news source already,” lamented Alexander. “The least they could do is leave a few articles for other unemployed anti-vaccers to comment on.”
Being the first person to comment on a health story is quickly becoming somewhat of a status symbol in anti-vaccine circles, as well as posting as many links to anti-vaccine websites and studies as possible.
“From now on I’m going to set my alarm clock even earlier and get to the stories first thing in the morning,” said a defiant Alexander. “I will not rest until everyone on the internet knows I don’t understand science.”
Anti-vaccers have been known to circle news and health sites then fly in for the kill when the comment section opens, flooding it with stupid. Anne Dachel from Age of Autism is one of the leaders of the comment vultures, also known as Dachel’s Band of Flying Monkeys.
“I do my best to make sure every health story, whether related to vaccines or not, has anti-vaccine comments it,” said Dachel. “I also try to get people to put a link back to Age of Autism if at all possible so we can make money off our supplement ads.”
