It was local anti-vaccer and science-denier Betty Thomas’ turn to bring snack for her son Grayson’s soccer team, The Super Ninjas. Previous parents had brought things like orange slices, yogurt and goldfish cheese snacks. Mrs. Thomas thought it was time for a change, time for something a bit healthier.
“I read a great kale chip recipe on Food Babe, and really wanted to try it out” explained Betty. “I think the children were a little thrown off by the disgusting taste and texture, but their colons will thank me later.”
All ten children reportedly broke down crying demanding a different snack. Two children threw up behind the picnic tables lining the soccer field.
“I’m not sure what she was thinking” said normal mom, Gina Gill. “Just bring something like fruit or yogurt and you’re fine.”
Many other parents were quite upset as well, except for one other parent who runs a natural healing blog called All Hail the Kale.
According to sources, Betty did feel a little guilty in the end, staying behind to help clean up and moving the goalposts.
