Anti-vaccine doctors (mostly comprised of ex-medical doctors, chiropractors, and naturopaths) have announced today that they were yet again unsuccessful in their attempt to find statistically significant evidence of vaccine harm.
“We tried everything again this year,” said Dr. Sherri Tenpenny. “We looked at new studies, old studies, unpublished studies, pay-to-publish studies and nothin’. We thought maybe if we reduced out confidence interval down from 95% to say 50% we would have some luck, but it was not to be.”
Anti-vaccine advocates vow to soldier on and preach their fears and unfounded science even in the light of this news.
“I don’t need no fancy scientist with their numbers and book learnin’ to tell me what’s what” said Joe Gooding, non-scientist. “I believe what I believe and no science or evidence is going to change that.”
The leaders of the anti-vaccine movement urged their members to remain positive and resilient and share stories from conspiracy theory and anti-vaccine websites in lieu of actual evidence.
