MIAMI, FL – Anti-vaccine advocate Derek Stephens claims to have “finished the internet”.
“I finally finished it today. I have read every single study, editorial, blog post, you name it on vaccines on the internet. My conclusion: all the research done which shows vaccines are safe and efficacious must all be part of a global conspiracy. The blogs I read about vaccines blew me away. I only wish I had enough money to order all the products out there to detox from everything” said an exhausted Stephens.
Stephens, who is unemployed, spent an average of over 14 hours a day for the past 4 years on the internet in his mother’s basement.
“It was tough, but I think it will be worth it when all my offers for honorable doctorates start pouring in from colleges and universities who heard about how much studying I’ve done” said a hopeful Stephens.
Stephens has now even surpassed Sherri Tenpenny who claims to have done over 18,000 hours of internetting on vaccine research.
“It truly is amazing,” said Tenpenny. “If I were him, I would get to my online store asap and order some supplements to gain his strength back.”
