LOS ANGELES, CA – According to sources at Forbes, anti-vaccine advocates will make an estimated 39 new millionaires in America this year by refusing to get vaccinated and instead buying unproven alternative health products.
LOS ANGELES, CA – According to sources at Forbes, anti-vaccine advocates will make an estimated 39 new millionaires in America this year by refusing to get vaccinated and instead buying unproven alternative health products.
Anti-vaccers tend to run from medical doctors and Big Pharma straight into the arms of Big Alterna and Big Placebo. Many “doctors” have become rich in the process.
“If everyone vaccinated their children and took them to real doctors and hospitals, I’d probably be driving a Hyundai right now instead of a Porsche,” said Billy DeMoss, chiropractor. “They have made me very rich. Oh and also its the right thing to do for their kids. Big Pharma. Vaccines. Autism.”
Scientists have often wondered why anti-vaccine, pro-disease advocates are so quick to trust alternative doctors and so quick to condemn medical doctors.
“Alternative medical practitioners are much better at marketing than MDs for one thing,” said researcher Dr. Mark Seo. “Medical doctors tend to rely on research and science, while people like homeopaths, chiropractors and naturopaths rely on testimonials and appeals to emotion. They have convinced an entire group of people to trust them implicitly, the evidence be damned.”
Many alternative medical practitioners who are on the cusp of becoming millionaires are really hoping this is their year.
“I did alright last year, but this year I’m going all out: bigger online store, sharing more emotional memes on Facebook, and I just finished making another You Tube video with a click-bait headline,” explained Naturopath Paul Therro. “I’m thinking this is the year ol’ Paul finally becomes a millionaire. Oh and saves people from the greedy Big Pharma of course.”
