CLEVELAND, OH – ANTI-VACCINE ONLINE COMMENTER BRAD COWEN HAS BEEN MAKING SCIENCE ILLITERATE, ANTI-VACCINE COMMENTS FOR THE BETTER PART OF 4 YEARS.
“I MAKE AT LEAST 10-20 COMMENTS A DAY ACROSS THE NET,” SAID COWEN. “PEOPLE WOULD OFTEN TELL ME TO STOP YELLING AT THEM, BUT I ALWAYS JUST THOUGHT THEY WERE ANGRY BECAUSE I HAD PROVEN THEM ALL WRONG.”
IT WAS ONLY AFTER COWEN BOUGHT A NEW KEYBOARD THAT HE NOTICED SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
“ALL THE TRUTH I WAS TYPING LOOKED SO SMALL AND WEIRD,” HE EXPLAINS. “THAT’S WHEN I FINALLY DID SOME MORE RESEARCH AND FOUND OUT ABOUT CAPS LOCK.”
ALTHOUGH COWEN IS TRYING TO ENJOY A CAPS LOCK-FREE LIFESTYLE, HE STILL OCCASIONALLY SLIPS UP AND TYPES OUT A LENGTHY COMMENT IN ALL CAPS.”