SAN JOSE, CA – Local anti-vaccine web designer Max Delton recently started a new website with his very own online symptom checker. However, no matter what symptoms the users types in, the diagnosis always comes back as “vaccine-injury – consult a chiropractor and a lawyer.”
“It’s a very complicated algorithm I came up with” said Dalton. “It took me years of research and trial and error but I finally have it working perfectly.”
Anti-vaccers are spreading the word far and wide of Max’s new symptom checker, and also hailing it as more proof of vaccine-injuries.
“You’re telling me it’s just a coincidence that my son got autism only 2 years after his MMR?” said Mary Gunthry, mother of a vaccine-injured child. “With Max’s new symptom checker now confirming what I already knew, there is no way any of the vaccine bullies can deny what is happening to our children.”
While experts are dismissing the site and symptom checker as more anti-vaccine echo-chamber bullshit, the pro-disease community is heralding it as a major triumph and are not surprised by the pro-science crowd’s reaction.
“Of course Big Pharma Shills and the sheep who listen to the government aren’t going to believe it” said Sherry Tenpenny. “The same way they don’t believe chemtrails are making us all sterile. The proof is undeniable.”
Since the symptom checker went live 48 hours ago, there have been 336 parents confirm their children have a vaccine-injury, and 597 people who just discovered they are vaccine-injured as well.